In My Boxers. Whoa.

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 05:14:29 GMT

Lady Fierce's birthday party soon. It shall be glorious and delicious. Also, I am leaving home for school next Wednesday. Very bittersweet. I need to graduate and move on up in this cotton candy pissy glitter world.

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:56:17 GMT

New year's was off the chain!!! My friend mel, who I met in Korea, invited me to hang with him and Sharon, who I also met briefly before, and had a ball. We ripped apart St Mark's in East Village. Asian Pub is da bomb and the many japanese restaurants there are really tasty and cheap. Mel's cousin has a boyfriend who worked security during Times Square so I got to see the ball drop front and center. It was AMAZING!!!!

Man, now I'm broke and I got a birthday party to go to on Friday. Sigh.

On the flip side, my grades are supposedly up but the personal access pages are down so I can't see them. It sucks.

It's my last semester of college and I can't believe how fast it went. So many friends, so much drama, so much DRUNK---all fading memories now. I guess I should be sentimental but I'm off dat. I'm on to the next one already; gotta keep it moving. And it might be *GASP* grad school??!?!? My advisor told me right after finals that my best academic work shows tremendous potential and he pushed me to graduate school. He said some of my work, if developed at the next level, could be groundbreaking. He said something about my non-shitty work to be one of the best he ever had as a professor... I was floored he would say something like that.

Alot to think about...

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:13:17 GMT

finals suck. but yesterday was fun, just dancing, talking to friends about silly things.

i really do need a drink tho. :/

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 14:43:36 GMT

happy thanksgiving. loving it. needed the break so bad....

nyc stomp was fun last night. i don't want to do anything. just relax and graduate...

sigh. :)

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:24:47 GMT

halloween. glee is heaven. ugly betty and bangin' whisky party last night.

HALLOWEEN ULTIMATE BASH TONIGHT.

college is really great sometimes.

CUZ RIGHT NOW MY SEX IS ON FIRE HAYYYY GURLLLL.

Dipping my feet in.

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 16:52:04 GMT

she_who_is_soc and me. For old time's sake, distant memories of me RPing, and a small desperate part of me that wants it back in my busy, stupid, silly life. Hope you guys enjoy it if you're into wacky shit like Final Fantasy, Cardcaptors, and epic high-fantasy battles with an anime flair? Oh yeah, sex, nudity, and bawdy language.

"Shit, Pops, we need money." Warrick had sipped his last drop of beer and, plunking the glass down dramatically, he looked at his morbidly drunk father with an "It's all your fucking fault" stare. Their money, all of it, gone. Poof. After the initial shock had died down and the shouting match between him and his father about the testicle-busting revelation had tapered off into tense silence, they did what any two men would do. They went to a nearby bar, got smashed, and moped about it. His bright emerald hair, silvery blue eyes, and a dashing maroon merchant's outfit showed a clear out-of-towner who traveled frequently. He shared only a slight resemblance to his drunk father, but it was their bright red button noses that revealed a familial connection to anyone willing to care and look.

"Look, son. I had no idea that no good, slimy, piece of turd wasn't gonna hold his end of the deal like that. He used to be a good kid back in the day. Don't know what happened, but that's usually what happens to people after the War. Son, you gotta understand, it's a complete shock to me. I mean, how could we? From Frankenshire, the good ol' boys. We'd be staring at Miss Shackleberries' backside and used to be talkin' about one day just going up to her and squeezing one of those cheeks like a proper man should." His father, Mercer, a stout man with a gray beard, gruffed out his words and sighed. "I wouldn't have done it for no other man. Frankenshire. It was Frankenshire."

"Well, fuck Frankenshire and fuck Miss Shacklepussies. Pops, I told you he was a bastard. He even looked like a bastard with that stupid motherfuckin' eye of his. All cockneyed and retarded looking. Only bastards pull that sort of shit. He looked at me funny too. I told you he was a fruitcake sonofabitch," said Warrick.

"Warrick, shut your trap right now. Saying that mess ain't right," Mercer responded.

"Old friends, my ass, cuz Pops, no offense, but you don't have any friends period," Warrick said.

"Wait, um, Pops, did you just fucking fart?"

"Huh?" No." Mercer sat up, taking another swig of his ale.

"POPS. FUCK. It always smells the fucking same. Always fucking chocolate malt and fried kimchi."

Mercer shrugged at him, who was pinching his nose. "Sorry, boy."

"Fuck, Pops." Warrick slammed his fist onto the table and, after a moment of silence, he bit his lip. "Fuck."

It was dark and damp in the tavern. It was a seedy place a few miles south of a coastal village in a small forest called Dingle Woods. A small crowd of regulars lurked there on Sundays. A couple of old fishermen, and a band of travelers looking to satisfy urges with the bar wenches. A couple of whom were known to spread their legs for gold.

"Pops, I'm horny. I'm gonna get some pussy, alright?" Warrick craned his neck, drunkenly scanning the room for one of the prostitutes.

"You be careful now. These broads here would fuck you for a sack of copper coins. After one of these girls, you might wake up tomorrow morning with purple welts on your dick," muttered his equally inebriated father.

"Yeah, yeah. You shouldn't be warning me about shit. After losing all our fucking money from last week's shipment with that fag with the shitty crazy eye."

Warrick got up. He had found a girl. She was young but dressed in slack, which would've tipped him off that she probably didn't work there. Barmaids usually wore tacky dresses. But he was pretty damn smashed and all the blood which should have been circulating in his brain was quickly headed towards his crotch. His vision was properly hazy and unfocused, but she looked cute enough, that thought had crossed his mind. It didn't really matter though. He was drunk and horny enough to fuck a fat, cross-eyed bitch if he could get his hands on one.

Warrick sauntered over to the girl. She sat at the bar minding her own business. He knew the routine. He plopped a handful of silver next to her drink and cocked his head slowly at her.

"I want a half hour. Just dick in your vadge. No mouth on anything. I'll throw in a gold coin if I can suck your toes. But they better be clean."

ahhhh summer!

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:15:46 GMT

So I've been home a couple weeks. It's been good. Relaxing, low key. Just what I need after a whirlwind adventure in South Korea.

I can't really summarize the entire year because so much happened. I learned quite a bit about life, its changes, its truths. But more than anything, it affirmed my aspirations and strengthened my inspirations to accomplish something greater than myself. This attitude is exactly what I need to succeed in what will be an extremely challenging senior year. I know I have to take an extra class both semesters, which is going to be hell considering how hard the regular workload is at Kenyon. But I'm gonna do it. I have to. I need to graduate and get on with my sassy, fabulous life. Haha.

This summer is all salads, low carbs, protein affair. I'm jogging three miles about 5 days a week. My belly's pretty flat now but I'm trying to get abs. But it's soooo hard! I'm hoping by the end of my senior year, I'll be a proud owner of a six pack. You can count on it.

Also, Harry Potter next friday! I'm happy watching movies without the Korean subtitles at the bottom.

I'm readjusting nicely to being back in the States except that everyone in America is so fat. People in East Asia are stick thin because of their diets so when I came back I was just like 'Whoa.' My short term goals are to read more and actually write something. It's been a really long time since I've written anything substantial. Writing is something I love which will always be with me and I shouldn't be neglecting it.

THE RETURN

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 00:37:07 GMT

COMING BACK /LOOKING DELICIOUS!

Back from Korea. Hopefully I'll post more. Mostly I've just been prowling ONTD and commenting on LJ friend posts but this time I want to stay committed. However, it seems I'm kinda spread out all over the place with Facebook and Twitter.

Mwahz.

Winter Break

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 18:46:24 GMT

It's winding down. It was an awesome, low-key, relaxing vacation. I know the party's gonna start up again when Joan and the new kids hit the K-Town scene. We partied our asses off last semester, and I don't see that changing this time around either. Only problem is that I have to take an extra class, but it shouldn't be a big deal. The hot deal is that none of my grades count for my GPA, so all I need is a C- in all my classes and I'm just peachy! Haha! Oh yeah, nusu , I'm still in Korea! LOL! Your past comments were kinda... confusing. I'm still here in Seoul partying my ass off. I'm looking forward to seeing Japan again. Osaka and Kyoto were fun places, but I really wanna see Tokyo! Maybe I'll go to Jeju Island too. Hmm... The possibilities are endless. All I know is, it's gonna be Korean BBQ, Indian nan bread, and hopefully some sashimi till June rolls around and I'm back in the N.Y.C.

Man, I miss home too. Krunk Korea is mad chill. But I miss the hot dogs, burritos, hamburgers, NY street pizza.

Oh well, I'mma enjoy K-Town while it lasts. Then it's senior year, comps, and graduation. Wow....

Love,
mike.

Memory lane pic. Me and Jo.

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 12:11:44 GMT

Sometimes, being gay means being fabulous. At other times, it means attracting drama.

Today, my roommate told me he did not want to live with me because I'm gay. I was like, okay, that's fine, no, not fine, but we'll deal. Then I asked if he's the one who could move since he's the one who has the problem because I do not want to move to the other room. I originally left the room because my other roommate John, who I adore so bless him, snores too loud and I can't get any sleep. Then this asshole pulls the "I was here FIRST and you asked for my PERMISSION to be in here so leave." From there, it was on. He got up, started cussing at me, and getting in my face. I can't even count how many times I told him to calm down. It was so... childish. I do not understand how someone thinks they can just yell, cuss, and bully their way to get what they want. I should not be inconvenienced because someone has a problem with who I am. If you have a problem, then YOU move.

Coming to Korea, I have never experienced such ignorance, bigotry, hatred, mockery, and ridicule for my sexual identity. Kids from Australia, France, and Finland have demonstrated such flagrant racist, homophobic behavior it really can be suffocating.

Oh well. I don't give a fuck. Because I'm queer, I'm here, so get used to it!

New Year's

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 22:09:18 GMT

So, it's 2009. Some resolutions...

Look great. I've come a long way since high school. I was a really chubby guy who overate to compensate for the lack of emotional maturity and familial stability in my life. Freshman year of college, I lost about 50 pounds and came back, looking delicious. I maintained it till sophomore year, and now, junior year, I gained 10-15 pounds. I look okay now. Seriously, I went from skinny to slightly overweight. That's what hardcore clubbing, drinking, and gorging on delicious Korean food does to your body. But I've been working out the past couple days and feel so much better. It's important to take care of yourself; healthy body, healthy mind. I don't want to overdo it and become this sickly thin twinkie, instead I'm going for some definition and muscle tone. Besides that, I want to stay on a consistent workout schedule for more than a couple months. I made a new friend, Eddie, who's built like a fireplug and is gonna teach me how to stop plateau and stay focused (not bored).
Feel great. My stay in Korea has taught me so much. With my father back in my life, some close friends who have inched their way into a special place in my heart, there's a growing sense of coming together. Instead of this giant shadow of enormous proportions looming over my life, I see my father as a deeply flawed man who is learning from his mistakes and is trying to redeem himself. Instead of superficial, shallow friendships, I've made friends with four incredible girls who inspire me to be a better person. They challenge me on an intellectual and emotional level, pushing me out of my comfort zones. I'm also coming to terms with my flaws. I'm aware of my weaknesses and gaining more patience and empathy for others. I've gained a new appreciation for family and what's important in life. I've become more self-aware. Ultimately, I've become happier with who I am. I feel like I'm becoming more whole. More and more complete.
Stay focused. Don't know how to explain it, but coming to Korea also changed my perspective in my future. Particularly, my career plans. I remember those innocent days of fantasizing about a life in cocktails and novels. Well, they're gone. I don't know if it's because of those darn Confucian family values, but I realized my responsibility as the firstborn and only son to take care of my parents. It's like someone put some mega-hot ambition into a syringe and needled it into my brain. Because it's all I can think about. I want to hustle, chase some serious paper, be a baller. I've been thinking about what I can do that will incite some passion and instill some drive and motivation. Law? Publishing? All I know for certain is that I'm mulling over GMAT and LSAT. Grad school, yuck... I'll definitely take a year or two off though.

These are mostly vague long-term goals. And what I learned most is that all the pondering of the future isn't worth jack shit without enjoying and living in the present. So, I'm just gonna revel in the good things. And that's friendship, prosperity, ambition, and contentment.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!

facebook.

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 03:59:25 GMT

Anyone have Facebook and wanna friend me or vice versa?

Let me know.

P.S. I love Indian food!!!!!!!!!!

Korea...

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 06:13:40 GMT

Korea... Hmm... Korea is...

FUCKING AWESOME.

I love, love, love, love Korea so much. I know this update was long overdue. My last post was when I first stepped off the airport, for gossakes. Anyways, I am so glad I came. I am learning so much here. I am growing as a person, figuring out what a putz I can be and I am realizing the kind of potential I have to make something for myself.

Before I came here, I was this aspiring bartender with long term goals a fuzzy, misty cloud. Now I see something crystallizing in front of me. Seeing all the family I missed out on while I was growing up in the States really opened my eyes. It helped me to understand my parents. To see where they came from, their belief systems, what they hold dear to their hearts... and how I fit into that picture. I'm their only son. My father did some stupid, crazy whack shit. We were estranged for a couple years now, and I pretty much thought we would never see each other again. That all changed when I saw him standing outside my classroom after my Global Theatre class ended. He was there, waiting. I was stunned. He had changed. No longer was he meglomaniacal, violent, selfish. He mellowed out, like whoa. We went to Busan together. I saw his hometown, his brothers, his nephew, his niece, his life. I learned secrets of the family I never knew before. All I heard from my uncles was "Take care of your mother." To see how much life in Korea revolves around family values... It's alot to think about. I'm their only son. As a Korean American, I have duties and responsibilties to my family. This changed what I wanted for my future, what I'll pursue, what direction I go, what path I take.

It's a bit ironic how serious I sound when alot of what I've been doing is drinking, dancing, and socializing. But it's so much fun, no surprise there. I've had some genuine, serious, deep conversations with people too. I learned about their hopes, dreams, and aspirations. I met Joan, who's your rich girl that loves shopping, but with a razor sharp intellect and a heart of gold. I met Genesis, your sassy black woman with steel balls and a sensitivity chip that takes me by surprise all the time. I'm making some good friends here. I learn from them, I am inspired by them... But I get pushed, shoved, and disrespected here too. Some people on this program still act like socially retarded 13 year olds. I'm constantly learning when to bite my lip and when to stand my ground. But it's all good. You just gotta let the players play and the haters hate. In the end, I gotta do me, myself, and I. People who matter stand out, and people who don't fade away. Focus on the positive, not the negatives. And there's alot of positives. I'm gonna post some pictures when I get home. It's been one big party here in Korea, and the fun just doesn't stop. I miss all my friends back home but I know what I got here is something special. Thanks to she_who_is_soc for telling me to go. I remember when I had second doubts and imagine me not having this opportunity, my god!

I'm gonna post some pictures soon.

WOMANIZER!!!!

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 11:51:12 GMT

WOMANIZER!

I just heard it on Breatheheavy.com

It is AMAZING! I can't stop dancing and singing along. It's a surefire hit and I'm lurrrrrrve!

THE COMEBACK QUEEN! SHE'S BACK! FUCK THE HATERZ!

(Sorry, I am just so psyched and amped and excited for my girl B!)

Love,

mike.

Seoul, South Korea

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 20:50:46 GMT

After a grueling 14 hour plane ride, I am here. The land of my birth, the city where my mom popped me out. Yay.

I watched some fantastic movies on the plane. The second Chronicles was much better than the first. Still has nothing on LOTR. I saw this charming movie called Penelope. Had a wonderful cast and such a cute story. I saw Kung Fu Panda, and I still love it after the second time. Food was really blah. Omellete tasted like half-melted plastic. And the sleep was painfully non-existent. I was crushed between two people so it was slightly uncomfortable. I waited like an hour at the airport and saw my two uncles. I haven't seen them since I was six so it was a little awkward. One, which I do remember, lost alot of weight. The other one looks so much like my mother, it's kinda scary. I may have been born here, but I'm split. I still feel like a foreigner. My Korean's a bit shaky but it gets the point across. I'm alot better off than some white American kid, I guess.

So my uncles forgot where they parked the car so we had to look for it which took like an extra hour. I laughed the whole time. It's good to know silliness and forgetfulness runs in the family! I got home, watched the Olympics, with the uncles, had a big breakfast, and went to bed. The whole day. I slept the whole day! My uncle woke me up and was cracking up. Ah well. I saw my cousin, who I vagulely remember playing with and sleeping over for slumber parties. He's alot older and alot bigger. He said the same about me. So I haven't seen the city of Seoul very much. But will do so today because the cuz is taking me to see grandma. I'm so very happy to see her, it's been awhile.

My mom brought me a digital camera for the trip so I'll post some pictures when I have some good ones.

Cheers!

Kimchi Dumplings

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 01:31:05 GMT

Just finished my dumplings. They were delicious.

Strapped down, waiting for Korea. Not much else is new. My priest is almost 70 so in my next post I'll introduce you to my WoW darlings.

But for now...

Just Dance to Lady GaGa! I first heard about her from my Britney fansite because she's apparently a huge pop junkie and one of her tracks got approved for Britney's new album (she's coming back/looking delicious). Her single is one of the big hits of the summer so I just wanted to post it and express my lurve.

Fork in the garbage disposal!

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 09:59:31 GMT

God said...

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 18:41:33 GMT

You know, nature's a beautiful thing.

I woke up today by a thunderstorm. Were they war drums? A dramatic soundtrack for the epic fight scene between me and the manager? A showdown between a lying, fake asshole and a righteous but powerless aspiring bartender.

Or it could be God telling me to wake the fuck up and get over it. I didn't get the job and that people in life don't give two shits about me and I need to move on. Maybe that's it. I could waste bus and train money for an hour and half and cause a scene and leave even more pissed off. But no, I think I'm over it. I understand I was new, kinda slow, and needed lots of practice. But I wish he would've told me that's why he didn't want to hire me instead of pretending he would, feeding me lies and bullshit.

But oh well.

It's not the end of the world.

Get over it, Mike.

Go to Seoul. Learn some things, party my brains out and make up for lost time since this entire summer was spent on mulling over and busting ass for bartending. NYC is a big city, and who cares if there's a couple of restaurants you never want to step into. Get more practice, get faster, put Korea and this shitty place on your resume, embellish the working dates a little, and life will be just dandy.

Korea, here I come!

Love,

mike.

Honor

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 05:01:16 GMT

Being screwed over sucks. Being lied to sucks. Being treated like utter dog shit sucks motherfucking donkey penis.

And no, that's not enjoyable at all.

It's been a week. And no phone call. How do you tell someone "This place is right for you" and "You just need someone to give you a chance, and I'll give you one, no worries" and then not return phone calls. I understand the way business works. You hire somebody, then you fire them when you don't like their performance. But don't feed me bullshit, getting my hopes up, and then pull stuff like this. My mother is like, "Let it go. There are all kinds of different people." But you know what. Fuck that. I've had people reject me before, but this guy makes me feel like a tool.

I called him today, of course he didn't pick up. He picked up the first time when he didn't know my number. I left him a voicemail and told him I was coming tomorrow. If he doesn't want to hire me, then he can tell it to my face. Then he can explain why he said all the things he did and suddenly change his motherfucking mind. This is my way of ending the whole job hunt. I pounded the pavement for months and all I got was frustration, lies, and empty promises. I guess this is my way of salvaging what's left of my dignity and being treated like an actual person.

Yeah, I'm whining. Deal with it.

hi, how u doin?1!

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 05:09:22 GMT

So, I haven't posted in over a month. Not that I've forgotten, I just wanted to wait till I had some good news. Then I finally got good news which was up in the air so I didn't feel like announcing it until I knew for certain. Now good news has turned into bad news with a big ol' question mark at the end.

Prepare for a massive update of epic proportions. You have been warned.

I had my first day on Saturday. "Hold up, son!" you say. "What do you mean, first day?"

Well, yes, I did the impossible. I got a gig and started as a trainee for a new restaurant bar on 125th street. I applied through Craigslist and was picked from over 100 applications because they really liked my resume and cover letter. I was floating on air at that point. It's a new place called Stop 125. Opened 3 months ago, and with a general manager who just started 3 weeks ago. It's really nice, small but upscale, SoHo-like for its uptown locale. I heard they're even opening up a Tiki bar! Sweetness! I went to the interview and he said he was gonna train me. He knew I'm not experienced but he wanted to give me a shot. I felt like I died and went to heaven.

So this Saturday I went. Things were looking up. The waiter Chris is a really cool dude. His girlfriend, who I met later in the evening, was also a fun, beautiful, charming, sweet woman. The waitress, Taryn, is so awesome! She's from Ireland and she has the cutest accent ever. So spunky and friendly and cute. Lurve. The busser/barback is also really cool and friendly and chill. Notice a trend? The bartender who was training me was Gia. Short, beautiful, Colombian, she and I really hit it off. By the end of the night, we really warmed up to each other. She was really patient and understanding that it was my first time.

Anyways, things were going well. Gia was showing me how to set up the bar. Afterwards, I was feeling more comfortable and chatting with Taryn when I instantly felt some tension while hearing Gerard, the general manager, call my name. He wanted to test me on my cocktails. "Okay," I said. This was expected. Cool, I can do it. But then the worst thing happened. I started getting really nervous.

Like ultra, stupidMikewhat'swrongwithyou nervous.

I started forgetting the recipe for the Cosmo. I finally made it. Gerard inspects it. "The color's not right," he states. I'm like, wut? He tastes it. "Too tart," he states. I put too much cranberry. He then goes, "You're too slow. If I was a customer, I'd ask for my money back." I'm like, ugh. Each word hits me like a 9-inch dagger shoved into my ballsack. I make the Mojito next. He says too little sugar and too much lime. Then the Mai-Tai is next. "This one tastes good," he says. I sigh in relief. "But it's too much pineapple, call it something else. Tai-Mai." Ugh!

"You need to work on your bartending skills. You need alot of help and practice." Kick, kick, kick. Right to the gonads.

I mean, I can't say I'm too surprised. Honestly, thinking about it... They were my first cocktails. Le gasp. The manager thought that I had more experience than I really did because of how sexy my resume and cover letter was. But I did tell him at the interview that my experience with cocktails was very limited, but there's no doubt I embellished a little. But anyways, I was still pissed. Later that night, the manager told me I looked like I was ready to walk out the door. But that's where he was wrong. I didn't leave. I stayed till 2 AM. I wanted to show him that I really wanted to learn and be trained. I think it worked because he gave me props for staying around longer than I was supposed to.

The rest of the evening was great though. I had alot of fun speaking with customers, serving them Jack on the rocks, Cuba Libres, and whatnot. I even made a Mojito and Malibu Mai Tai. Fun stuff. It wasn't bad for the first day. I didn't get paid because I'm currently under training, but I earned a few bucks in tips. At the end of the night, Gerard said I needed alot of work but he said he wanted me to come back on Saturday. I told him I wanted to come on another day so I can get more training done. He told me to write down his number and call him the next day. As I was leaving, I told him that I messed up but I can do better. He nodded. He said, "You just need someone to give you a chance. This place is slow enough for you to learn." I thanked him for giving me a chance. He goes, "I'll give you one, no worries."

I was fucking sore as hell. But I learned alot in one day. I was exhausted and obliterated but felt triumphant. I was a bartending trainee and proud of it!

The next day, my mom made me go to church. I was supposed to call at 2 but ended up calling at 4:30. Gerard picks up and is like, "Who's this?" I said it was Mike. He's like, "Call me at 7 because I'm busy." I try to say okay and tell him church ran late and before I knew it, he hangs up on me. I shrugged it off as him being busy and me running my mouth too much. Then I call him around 7:10 and he doesn't pick up. I leave a voicemail. Something's fishy, I thought. But then I told myself I'm just being paranoid.

I wake up the today. He hasn't called me back. I decide to give him a call around 2:30. He doesn't pick up. I leave another voicemail. I'm fucking scared as fuck. Like ohmygod I'm going out of my mind right now, is he busy? Or did he change his mind about hiring me? Why would someone who says he's always honest and tells me he wanted to give me a chance suddenly fire me? I'm going out of my mind because I don't know if I just lost the biggest break of my life. Several months of pounding the pavement and one manager screwing me over at Josie's, now I feel like I'm back to zero. Am I jumping to conclusions? I mean, he could be busy. He really could be. But then what if he doesn't call me? Is that him telling me he's changed his mind and doesn't want me working there anymore? I mean, WTF. I feel like I was lied and jerked around by someone who I thought was real, genuine, and no-bullshit. One part of me tells me I'm paranoid and I should wait. So I will. But if he doesn't call me in the next day or so, I'm guessing I lost the gig.

That means I'm going to Korea. "Yeah, yeah. Go Mike, it'll be a great experience. You can work anytime in NYC. Why are you taking time off to bartend? You're out of your mind, Mike." That's all I've been hearing from my friends. "Mike, you're fucking crazy!"

They don't understand. I only applied to the Korea program because I couldn't get into the NYC one because it was limited to art students. I don't want to go to Korea. Sure, I'll have fun and learn new things. But NYC is where I wanna be this semester, bartending is what I wanna do. I feel like my heart is conflicting with my responsibilities. My heart tells me to follow this new passion of bartending, of nightlife, of business, and the city. My responsibilities tell me to go back to school or Korea. And considering how fucking lame the job search has been for me. I don't know. Ugh. It sucks. It fucking sucks. A part of me even regrets going to bartending school this summer because it led me to this new passion and new opportunities which excite and inspire me. I could've been playing WoW and passing time, without worry, just waiting for Seoul. Now I'm stressed and determined and presented with hard decisions.

Bottom line, I really hope Gerard calls me back. Please, please, please.

Ouch.

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 06:32:35 GMT

My wisdom teeth is coming out. Ow.

But I have to be tough! Have to be a man! ... *sniff*

Love in this club...

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:38:50 GMT

My friend Coco Butter got me the Usher album. It's got some smooth R&B tracks. The remix of Love in this Club with Beyonce is fiiiiire.

I went to my best friend's birthday party, drank some Corona, and smoked some hookah. It was good times. I stayed at her place the next day and discussed the fact that she was fucking somebody who was hopelessly in love with her yet had to marry his pregnant girlfriend. Terrible drama is brewing... It's funny how sexual my friend is. She considers herself a lesbian because she doesn't date guys but has no problem bangin' those "with good personality". She's probably pansexual, but that's the thing about labels, they don't really follow reality sometimes.

I'm still waiting to hear back from the guy from Josie's and contemplating if I wanna go to the interview tomorrow in Newark. I gotta make some phone calls to KC and see what I can do about the abroad situation. My friend Clarissa came over to the BFF's house and we talked about Manhattan and all that, which got me revved up. The thing about Korea is that the university doesn't have a Religious Studies department. It only has a theology school which my advisor has told me doesn't really transfer over. They have a few religious studies classes but the selection is extremely limited and overlaps with courses I've already taken. So if I go to Seoul, it'd be tons of fun but I may not have enough major credits to graduate on time, which is a big no-no. I love alot of things about Kenyon but I do not want to stay longer than I have to. Including that, working for a bit will build a resume which is crucial for bartending in NYC. This is something I wanna do for awhile. It'll also pay for grad school plans because bartenders make a shitload of money if done well. Korea would be an awesome experience but this makes more sense for my future. Especially since I do want some sort of abroad experience away from Kenyon, because I need a break.

I'm trying to rationalize this because I am really mulling over what's best for me. My best friend has expressed concern over this plan because she knows what it's like to commute. Also I'd be taking classes mornings and afternoons while working evenings, which will be rough at first. Plus, I take Sage's advice very seriously. These are two of the smartest girls I know, so I really need to think this through. I am gonna make some calls to the Dean, the Registrar, my advisor, and the Financial office. I'll keep ya'all updated.

So Yummy

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 15:55:43 GMT

Mmm...

The sexiest man in Hollywood! So fuckable!

Miracles do happen...

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:00:38 GMT

It's a miracle. A damn miracle.

I dropped off a resume at Josie's on 37th and 3rd yesterday. On the bus ride home, the general manager called me back and said he wanted to interview me today. So I went. Well, it was a mixed interview. He said he liked my youth and energy. And he's also from NJ so he didn't discriminate against me like those other managers. He had some harsh words for something that I'm not going to repeat here. It's too embarassing!

But the point is that he still liked me enough to tell me that training will start on the 14th of July (three weeks). He said that he will call me earlier than that because I have other interviews and to see if I'm still interested. That means he's giving me the job, right? I just go through training and if I pass that stage, I got the job right? Right? I'm so fucking excited about this.

Oh yeah, he said that I'll have to learn the menu because people order meals at the bar. The head bartender is leaving for law school at San Fran in August. This leaves me pondering about something that I've actually been mulling over for awhile. I've been thinking about not going abroad this year. I am thinking about taking some time off from Kenyon and enroll for morning classes at a local Manhattan college while bartending in the afternoons and evenings. I won't be going to Korea... at least for now. I've always wondered what it'd be like to go to school in the city that I love. I would essentially be "studying abroad" in NYC. I'd just temporarily drop out of KC and come back a year later with transfer credits so I can graduate on time. It's incredibly easy to come back. It's something I need to think about really carefully. If anyone's got any advice, please share. I'd appreciate it.

But I'm thrilled. Weeks of pounding the pavement and I got something going on here. I'm floating on air right now! Hee!

Resolute

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:30:25 GMT

So after a grueling week of handing out resumes to bars throughout Hell's Kitchen and East Side, I still have no luck with getting a permanent gig. Sigh. It's sad. I only got around a month or so (leaving on August 20), maybe I should just chill out and rest up for the big year abroad. I am definitely going to try getting a bartending gig in Seoul, maybe there are international hotels or players that may need a bilingual bartender. I am not giving up on this. I am going to be a bartender! Never give up! Keep fighting! *shakes poms poms for self*

So me and my best friend did a private party gig in New City. it was awesome. The hosts of the party were fantastic and the nice lady who hired me works as a manager in a family owned restaurant and told me she might hire me as a temporary bartender. It's a long drive but it's experience, considering how the job search is going. But who knows. Anyways, the people at the party were mostly warm and genial, not at all stuck up like the last party. They tipped me well and made a decent buck. Woohoo.

I might be working at a steakhouse pub in Mahwah. The guy is supposed to call back today but if he doesn't, and I don't expect him to, since it's almost 4:30 PM, I'll just give him a follow-up call tomorrow and see what happens. I'm desperate to get some more experience behind a bar. I'm planning on making this week my last chance for a gig for the summer. Crossing fingers.

My Quran copy still hasn't come in the mail. Phooey.

I am getting the writing bug again. It comes and goes but it's been particularly strong lately. It's been so long I've written fiction, I don't know if I still have any knack left for it anymore. We'll see... We'll see...

I'm thinking about getting the Katy Perry album. Her single's devilish and tasty. Yum.