happy thanksgiving. loving it. needed the break so bad....

nyc stomp was fun last night. i don't want to do anything. just relax and graduate...

sigh. :)

halloween. glee is heaven. ugly betty and bangin' whisky party last night.

HALLOWEEN ULTIMATE BASH TONIGHT.

college is really great sometimes.

CUZ RIGHT NOW MY SEX IS ON FIRE HAYYYY GURLLLL.  

she_who_is_soc and me. For old time's sake, distant memories of me RPing, and a small desperate part of me that wants it back in my busy, stupid, silly life. Hope you guys enjoy it if you're into wacky shit like Final Fantasy, Cardcaptors, and epic high-fantasy battles with an anime flair? Oh yeah, sex, nudity, and bawdy language.

( An Indecent Proposal )

So I've been home a couple weeks. It's been good. Relaxing, low key. Just what I need after a whirlwind adventure in South Korea.

I can't really summarize the entire year because so much happened. I learned quite a bit about life, its changes, its truths. But more than anything, it affirmed my aspirations and strengthened my inspirations to accomplish something greater than myself. This attitude is exactly what I need to succeed in what will be an extremely challenging senior year. I know I have to take an extra class both semesters, which is going to be hell considering how hard the regular workload is at Kenyon. But I'm gonna do it. I have to. I need to graduate and get on with my sassy, fabulous life. Haha.

This summer is all salads, low carbs, protein affair. I'm jogging three miles about 5 days a week. My belly's pretty flat now but I'm trying to get abs. But it's soooo hard! I'm hoping by the end of my senior year, I'll be a proud owner of a six pack. You can count on it.

Also, Harry Potter next friday! I'm happy watching movies without the Korean subtitles at the bottom.

I'm readjusting nicely to being back in the States except that everyone in America is so fat. People in East Asia are stick thin because of their diets so when I came back I was just like 'Whoa.' My short term goals are to read more and actually write something. It's been a really long time since I've written anything substantial. Writing is something I love which will always be with me and I shouldn't be neglecting it.

COMING BACK /LOOKING DELICIOUS!

Back from Korea. Hopefully I'll post more. Mostly I've just been prowling ONTD and commenting on LJ friend posts but this time I want to stay committed. However, it seems I'm kinda spread out all over the place with Facebook and Twitter. 

Mwahz.

It's winding down. It was an awesome, low-key, relaxing vacation. I know the party's gonna start up again when Joan and the new kids hit the K-Town scene. We partied our asses off last semester, and I don't see that changing this time around either. Only problem is that I have to take an extra class, but it shouldn't be a big deal. The hot deal is that none of my grades count for my GPA, so all I need is a C- in all my classes and I'm just peachy! Haha! Oh yeah, nusu , I'm still in Korea! LOL! Your past comments were kinda... confusing. I'm still here in Seoul partying my ass off. I'm looking forward to seeing Japan again. Osaka and Kyoto were fun places, but I really wanna see Tokyo! Maybe I'll go to Jeju Island too. Hmm... The possibilities are endless. All I know is, it's gonna be Korean BBQ, Indian nan bread, and hopefully some sashimi till June rolls around and I'm back in the N.Y.C.

Man, I miss home too. Krunk Korea is mad chill. But I miss the hot dogs, burritos, hamburgers, NY street pizza.

Oh well, I'mma enjoy K-Town while it lasts. Then it's senior year, comps, and graduation. Wow....

Love,
mike.

Sometimes, being gay means being fabulous. At other times, it means attracting drama.

Today, my roommate told me he did not want to live with me because I'm gay. I was like, okay, that's fine, no, not fine, but we'll deal. Then I asked if he's the one who could move since he's the one who has the problem because I do not want to move to the other room. I originally left the room because my other roommate John, who I adore so bless him, snores too loud and I can't get any sleep. Then this asshole pulls the "I was here FIRST and you asked for my PERMISSION to be in here so leave." From there, it was on. He got up, started cussing at me, and getting in my face. I can't even count how many times I told him to calm down. It was so... childish. I do not understand how someone thinks they can just yell, cuss, and bully their way to get what they want. I should not be inconvenienced because someone has a problem with who I am. If you have a problem, then YOU move.

Coming to Korea, I have never experienced such ignorance, bigotry, hatred, mockery, and ridicule for my sexual identity. Kids from Australia, France, and Finland have demonstrated such flagrant racist, homophobic behavior it really can be suffocating.

Oh well. I don't give a fuck. Because I'm queer, I'm here, so get used to it!

So, it's 2009. Some resolutions...

• Look great. I've come a long way since high school. I was a really chubby guy who overate to compensate for the lack of emotional maturity and familial stability in my life. Freshman year of college, I lost about 50 pounds and came back, looking delicious. I maintained it till sophomore year, and now, junior year, I gained 10-15 pounds. I look okay now.  Seriously, I went from skinny to slightly overweight. That's what hardcore clubbing, drinking, and gorging on delicious Korean food does to your body. But I've been working out the past couple days and feel so much better. It's important to take care of yourself; healthy body, healthy mind. I don't want to overdo it and become this sickly thin twinkie, instead I'm going for some definition and muscle tone. Besides that, I want to stay on a consistent workout schedule for more than a couple months. I made a new friend, Eddie, who's built like a fireplug and is gonna teach me how to stop plateau and stay focused (not bored). 
• Feel great. My stay in Korea has taught me so much. With my father back in my life, some close friends who have inched their way into a special place in my heart, there's a growing sense of coming together. Instead of this giant shadow of enormous proportions looming over my life, I see my father as a deeply flawed man who is learning from his mistakes and is trying to redeem himself. Instead of superficial, shallow friendships, I've made friends with four incredible girls who inspire me to be a better person. They challenge me on an intellectual and emotional level, pushing me out of my comfort zones. I'm also coming to terms with my flaws. I'm aware of my weaknesses and gaining more patience and empathy for others. I've gained a new appreciation for family and what's important in life. I've become more self-aware. Ultimately, I've become happier with who I am.  I feel like I'm becoming more whole. More and more complete.
• Stay focused. Don't know how to explain it, but coming to Korea also changed my perspective in my future. Particularly, my career plans. I remember those innocent days of fantasizing about a life in cocktails and novels. Well, they're gone. I don't know if it's because of those darn Confucian family values, but I realized my responsibility as the firstborn and only son to take care of my parents. It's like someone put some mega-hot ambition into a syringe and needled it into my brain. Because it's all I can think about. I want to hustle, chase some serious paper, be a baller. I've been thinking about what I can do that will incite some passion and instill some drive and motivation. Law? Publishing? All I know for certain is that I'm mulling over GMAT and LSAT. Grad school, yuck... I'll definitely take a year or two off though.

These are mostly vague long-term goals. And what I learned most is that all the pondering of the future isn't worth jack shit without enjoying and living in the present. So, I'm just gonna revel in the good things. And that's friendship, prosperity, ambition, and contentment.

Anyone have Facebook and wanna friend me or vice versa?

Let me know.

P.S. I love Indian food!!!!!!!!!!

Korea... Hmm... Korea is...

FUCKING AWESOME.

I love, love, love, love Korea so much. I know this update was long overdue. My last post was when I first stepped off the airport, for gossakes. Anyways, I am so glad I came. I am learning so much here. I am growing as a person, figuring out what a putz I can be and I am realizing the kind of potential I have to make something for myself.

Before I came here, I was this aspiring bartender with long term goals a fuzzy, misty cloud. Now I see something crystallizing in front of me. Seeing all the family I missed out on while I was growing up in the States really opened my eyes. It helped me to understand my parents. To see where they came from, their belief systems, what they hold dear to their hearts... and how I fit into that picture. I'm their only son. My father did some stupid, crazy whack shit. We were estranged for a couple years now, and I pretty much thought we would never see each other again. That all changed when I saw him standing outside my classroom after my Global Theatre class ended. He was there, waiting. I was stunned. He had changed. No longer was he meglomaniacal, violent, selfish. He mellowed out, like whoa. We went to Busan together. I saw his hometown, his brothers, his nephew, his niece, his life. I learned secrets of the family I never knew before. All I heard from my uncles was "Take care of your mother." To see how much life in Korea revolves around family values... It's alot to think about. I'm their only son. As a Korean American, I have duties and responsibilties to my family. This changed what I wanted for my future, what I'll pursue, what direction I go, what path I take.

It's a bit ironic how serious I sound when alot of what I've been doing is drinking, dancing, and socializing. But it's so much fun, no surprise there. I've had some genuine, serious, deep conversations with people too. I learned about their hopes, dreams, and aspirations. I met Joan, who's your rich girl that loves shopping, but with a razor sharp intellect and a heart of gold. I met Genesis, your sassy black woman with steel balls and a sensitivity chip that takes me by surprise all the time. I'm making some good friends here. I learn from them, I am inspired by them... But I get pushed, shoved, and disrespected here too. Some people on this program still act like socially retarded 13 year olds. I'm constantly learning when to bite my lip and when to stand my ground. But it's all good. You just gotta let the players play and the haters hate. In the end, I gotta do me, myself, and I. People who matter stand out, and people who don't fade away. Focus on the positive, not the negatives. And there's alot of positives. I'm gonna post some pictures when I get home. It's been one big party here in Korea, and the fun just doesn't stop. I miss all my friends back home but I know what I got here is something special. Thanks to she_who_is_soc for telling me to go. I remember when I had second doubts and imagine me not having this opportunity, my god! 

I'm gonna post some pictures soon.

I just heard it on Breatheheavy.com

It is AMAZING! I can't stop dancing and singing along. It's a surefire hit and I'm lurrrrrrve!

THE COMEBACK QUEEN! SHE'S BACK! FUCK THE HATERZ!

(Sorry, I am just so psyched and amped and excited for my girl B!)

Love,

mike.

 After a grueling 14 hour plane ride, I am here. The land of my birth, the city where my mom popped me out. Yay.

I watched some fantastic movies on the plane. The second Chronicles was much better than the first. Still has nothing on LOTR. I saw this charming movie called Penelope. Had a wonderful cast and such a cute story. I saw Kung Fu Panda, and I still love it after the second time. Food was really blah. Omellete tasted like half-melted plastic. And the sleep was painfully non-existent. I was crushed between two people so it was slightly uncomfortable. I waited like an hour at the airport and saw my two uncles. I haven't seen them since I was six so it was a little awkward. One, which I do remember, lost alot of weight. The other one looks so much like my mother, it's kinda scary. I may have been born here, but I'm split. I still feel like a foreigner. My Korean's a bit shaky but it gets the point across. I'm alot better off than some white American kid, I guess. 

So my uncles forgot where they parked the car so we had to look for it which took like an extra hour. I laughed the whole time. It's good to know silliness and forgetfulness runs in the family! I got home, watched the Olympics, with the uncles, had a big breakfast, and went to bed. The whole day. I slept the whole day! My uncle woke me up and was cracking up. Ah well. I saw my cousin, who I vagulely remember playing with and sleeping over for slumber parties. He's alot older and alot bigger. He said the same about me. So I haven't seen the city of Seoul very much. But will do so today because the cuz is taking me to see grandma. I'm so very happy to see her, it's been awhile. 

My mom brought me a digital camera for the trip so I'll post some pictures when I have some good ones. 

Cheers!

Just finished my dumplings. They were delicious.

Strapped down, waiting for Korea. Not much else is new. My priest is almost 70 so in my next post I'll introduce you to my WoW darlings.

But for now...

Just Dance to Lady GaGa! I first heard about her from my Britney fansite because she's apparently a huge pop junkie and one of her tracks got approved for Britney's new album (she's coming back/looking delicious). Her single is one of the big hits of the summer so I just wanted to post it and express my lurve.

You know, nature's a beautiful thing.

I woke up today by a thunderstorm. Were they war drums? A dramatic soundtrack for the epic fight scene between me and the manager? A showdown between a lying, fake asshole and a righteous but powerless aspiring bartender.

Or it could be God telling me to wake the fuck up and get over it. I didn't get the job and that people in life don't give two shits about me and I need to move on. Maybe that's it. I could waste bus and train money for an hour and half and cause a scene and leave even more pissed off. But no, I think I'm over it. I understand I was new, kinda slow, and needed lots of practice. But I wish he would've told me that's why he didn't want to hire me instead of pretending he would, feeding me lies and bullshit.

But oh well.

It's not the end of the world.

Get over it, Mike.

Go to Seoul. Learn some things, party my brains out and make up for lost time since this entire summer was spent on mulling over and busting ass for bartending. NYC is a big city, and who cares if there's a couple of restaurants you never want to step into. Get more practice, get faster, put Korea and this shitty place on your resume, embellish the working dates a little, and life will be just dandy.

Korea, here I come!

Love,

mike.

Being screwed over sucks. Being lied to sucks. Being treated like utter dog shit sucks motherfucking donkey penis.

And no, that's not enjoyable at all.

It's been a week. And no phone call. How do you tell someone "This place is right for you" and "You just need someone to give you a chance, and I'll give you one, no worries" and then not return phone calls. I understand the way business works. You hire somebody, then you fire them when you don't like their performance. But don't feed me bullshit, getting my hopes up, and then pull stuff like this. My mother is like, "Let it go. There are all kinds of different people." But you know what. Fuck that. I've had people reject me before, but this guy makes me feel like a tool.

I called him today, of course he didn't pick up. He picked up the first time when he didn't know my number. I left him a voicemail and told him I was coming tomorrow. If he doesn't want to hire me, then he can tell it to my face. Then he can explain why he said all the things he did and suddenly change his motherfucking mind. This is my way of ending the whole job hunt. I pounded the pavement for months and all I got was frustration, lies, and empty promises. I guess this is my way of salvaging what's left of my dignity and being treated like an actual person.

Yeah, I'm whining. Deal with it.

So, I haven't posted in over a month. Not that I've forgotten, I just wanted to wait till I had some good news. Then I finally got good news which was up in the air so I didn't feel like announcing it until I knew for certain. Now good news has turned into bad news with a big ol' question mark at the end.

Prepare for a massive update of epic proportions. You have been warned.

My wisdom teeth is coming out. Ow.

But I have to be tough! Have to be a man! ... *sniff*

My friend Coco Butter got me the Usher album. It's got some smooth R&B tracks. The remix of Love in this Club with Beyonce is fiiiiire.

I went to my best friend's birthday party, drank some Corona, and smoked some hookah. It was good times. I stayed at her place the next day and discussed the fact that she was fucking somebody who was hopelessly in love with her yet had to marry his pregnant girlfriend. Terrible drama is brewing... It's funny how sexual my friend is. She considers herself a lesbian because she doesn't date guys but has no problem bangin' those "with good personality". She's probably pansexual, but that's the thing about labels, they don't really follow reality sometimes.

I'm still waiting to hear back from the guy from Josie's and contemplating if I wanna go to the interview tomorrow in Newark. I gotta make some phone calls to KC and see what I can do about the abroad situation. My friend Clarissa came over to the BFF's house and we talked about Manhattan and all that, which got me revved up. The thing about Korea is that the university doesn't have a Religious Studies department. It only has a theology school which my advisor has told me doesn't really transfer over. They have a few religious studies classes but the selection is extremely limited and overlaps with courses I've already taken. So if I go to Seoul, it'd be tons of fun but I may not have enough major credits to graduate on time, which is a big no-no. I love alot of things about Kenyon but I do not want to stay longer than I have to. Including that, working for a bit will build a resume which is crucial for bartending in NYC. This is something I wanna do for awhile. It'll also pay for grad school plans because bartenders make a shitload of money if done well. Korea would be an awesome experience but this makes more sense for my future. Especially since I do want some sort of abroad experience away from Kenyon, because I need a break.

I'm trying to rationalize this because I am really mulling over what's best for me. My best friend has expressed concern over this plan because she knows what it's like to commute. Also I'd be taking classes mornings and afternoons while working evenings, which will be rough at first. Plus, I take Sage's advice very seriously. These are two of the smartest girls I know, so I really need to think this through. I am gonna make some calls to the Dean, the Registrar, my advisor, and the Financial office. I'll keep ya'all updated.

Mmm...